Lots to say......

I have lots of thoughts going through my little brain tonight it happens all the time tho. I wander things like where is my prince that I was promised in the fairy tales???

Why do I obsess about said prince knowing that they only exist in fairy tales??? Yeah I know there are a few princes out there but, they belong to someone else. Seriously how can one person obsess over something so much it is always in my mind. No one understands the way it is people say 'oh you are still young you have time' yeah yeah. That is not the point why can't I have the fairy tale I always wanted????

When I was a kid the only thing I ever wanted when I grew up was to get married and have kids. Sounds so easy yet not at all. Even harder when everyone you know has kids and a man I am surrounded by them.

I know having a man and kids doesn't bring happiness I am not saying that at all I am very happy with my life I just want my fairy tale also is that so much to ask???

Then are always the wonderful people who ask you are you married? Do you have any kids??? Or this is the other one that I get are you the one that is married??? Seriously so that is how I am known as the non married daughter nice thanks!!! Like I'm not depressed enough I need to be asked all these lovely questions.

Ok I think I am done complaining that is my rant for the week..

You never know where I will be.....

So I am back in the Arctic South Dakota things did not work out in Indiana. Even tho lots of people wanted them too. Country man and I did not work out big surprise there right impossible to find a good guy.

So back living with the folks which I forgot how funny they are oh my goosh they crack me up. Working at School Bus which pays saving money to buy a car with my tax check. Working out trying to lose some weight and changing my life in different ways. I had a bad habit which some of you know about and I tried quiting back in March. Well Monday it will be a month that I have quit. I am so proud of myself and plan to keep it this way. I feel great even better after i workout it is amazing how great you feel after.

The other day the folks and i were talking and I told them I am so over finding a man I am not even going there any more. If they want me out of the house they have to find me a husband they laughed at me. I don't think they will really do it tho cause they think everyone is 'weird'. Which in it self is really funny cause they are weird they just don't know they are.

So I guess we will wait and see what happens you never know. So I think that is about all for this post may add something later.

Love ya

I Should have called and told you.....

I am swooning.... Awwww... ok but, seriously. I have meet me a man and things are going well. I have been afraid to say anything for the many questions there will be. But I really like Country man and things are very different with him then with any other guy. I think that is why I decided to write this out I need to work things out in my head.

So I guess the starter is where did I meet him? Well I went to meet Country Man's friend. I didn't know he was bringing Country Man I am so glad he did tho. Me and the friend did not hit it off but, I did with Country Man. Needless to say said friend was not happy and didn't want us talking and I said if CM agrees then fine. CM did not agree and called me the next day there have been MANY long nights on the phone for the last 2 weeks. We finally got to see each other again on Friday night and went out Saturday for my birthday.

We went to dinner at LOGAN'S of course then went bowing with Steph,Kenny, Kevin, Melissa, and Scott. We all had so much fun one of my best birthday's I had my girls with me and Country Man. It was wonderful!!! SWOON

So now to the part that I need to work out in my head. I think I have it figured out but, still thinking on it. So Country Man and I are taking things so not RUSHING. I know what a switch for me but, really I'm not I am going one day at a time with this. Things are going great Country Man has spoke of things like what do you want for Christmas and we have talked of doing a few things in the next couple of months.

So why does this feel so different then with any guy I have ever been with? That is the part I can't get. He's not like other guys I have dated before either he is sweet and tender and says the nicest things. To which I joke and say ' keep earning those brownie points' which he is. I have never had some one call me Miss America, perfect, gorgeous, and just beautiful. This is not normal for me I love it but, so not used to it. He cares about how I feel about different things he is so gentle, respectful, honest, gentleman, and Country. I shocked him one day he asked me if I knew who Bill Dance was? I said yeah I know who he is My dad watches his fishing show. Not even kidding this is what he says "Me and your dad will get along great we can watch hunting and fishing all day." Great me and mom will shop!!! I know I not looking for a man for my dad but, I enjoy those things I loved it when dad came home with whatever he went hunting for. Those are great memories I have with my dad.

Fuzzy says that I think it feels different because I'm not rushing things that I am going one day at a time and seeing what happens. I am excited and can't wait to see where things go but, I'm not pushing things to get there. So I guess what I am saying is I am happy so happy I can't even explain fully what I am feeling cause I don't know. What I do know is I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.

I LOVE Songs

You ever have a song that just I don't know how to say it sticks with you and it won't go away? Sure you have everyone has.

After reading someone else's blog I now have a song stuck in my head. Like said person I love this song it says so much about having the Faith that we some times forget we have. The things God has done in our lives or people that we know.

I love music and think that songs speak a message to us in their own way. There is another song that we sang at Falls Church Called Second Chance by Hillsong I love this song.

You called my name Reached out Your hand

Restored my life And I was redeemed

The moment You entered my life

Amazing grace Christ gave that day My life was changed

When from my shoulders Fell the weight of my sin

So it’s with everything I am I reach out for Your hand

The hope for change The second chance I’ve gained

On You I throw my life Casting all my fears aside How could greater love than this

Ever possibly exist

Consume my thoughts As I rest in You

I’m now in love With a Saviour Bearing the marks of His love

So I’ll wait upon You now With my hands released to You

Where a little faith’s enough To see mountains lift and move

And I’ll wait upon You now Dedicated to Your will

To this love that will remain A love that never fails


It is such a true song His love never fails, No one loves us like God loves us and he can move mountains. When everything feels like you are in the pit and never going to get out he is there with his hand stretched out to us. To pull us out of the pit believe me cause I have been in that pit several times.

No mater what we do he still loves us and is there for us. I know I can always turn to God for help whenever I need it and he will be there I take comfort in that.

I want to share a few songs that I have been listening to I will give you titles you can look them up I have several. Go check them out you might like them.

What Faith Can Do by Kutless
All Along By Remedy Drive
Lord move, or move me By FFH
Every move I make by Hillsong kids
The words i would say by Sidewalk prophets
More Beautiful You by Jonny Diaz
Love is here By Tenth Avenue North
By Your side By Tenth Avenue North
Can't get away by Rush Of Fools
There's only Grace Matthew West

So go check them out they might speak to you also.

Have a great day love Toni :)

Home Is Where The Heart Is.............

I love being Home


I just have to blog about this because I have been thinking about it the last couple of days and it the only way I will get it out of my head.

So you know how when you go away on vacation or visit someone then when you come home you are so relieved and happy. That is how I have felt for the last few weeks being back in Indiana. It’s so like coming home from a long vacation I know that sounds weird to anyone else. This is home for me; my heart has been here since I left 2 years ago. I was happy in Sioux Falls with my family I am always happy to be with them and I miss them lots. But I love being back in Indiana. Melissa used to tell me ‘you just don’t seem happy there you need to come home where you were happy’. I thought she was just trying to get me back here which she was but, I wasn’t as happy as I am here. Looking back on all I have done the last 2 years I wasn’t happy I see that now I didn’t then.


I am so excited to start this new chapter in my life it’s not a new beginning it is almost picking up where I left off. Working at TG, seeing (and living with) Melissa, all my friends, and seeing JJ. You don’t realize how much you miss things till they aren’t there or they come back. I knew I missed everyone but, I didn’t realize I missed them this much. It is the little things that I missed the most driving down a country road, all the fall trees, creek walking, walks in the woods, 4 wheeling, and bond fires in the woods. Things we used to do and can do again I love that so much. I love when Melissa looks at me and says remember when we used to do this lets go do this. We did a lot of crazy things (sorry dad) but, we where always careful and we had fun. I guess I missed being a country girl the most, getting dirty and having fun while doing it.

So the question is to me would you change the last 2 years? No I got to experience a lot of things that I never probably would have if I hadn’t moved. I meet some great people that I will never forget and will always love. I got to spend time with my family I love being with my niece and nephews I miss them so much.

The other question I get why did you move back? I missed this place everyone who lives here wants to get out. I have been out I wouldn’t trade southern Indiana for any where in the world I love it here. Maybe it is the people I have around me that make it extra special but, I real do love this area.

I know I jump around in what I am saying sometimes it is because there is so much going on in my head. I get off on one thing then go back to something else I guess I am a little scatter brain.

Until next time have a great day and I will post new pictures soon.

Yeah I know what you are thinking......

I know where have you been? What are you doing? What is going on? So here is the deal remember how in my last post I was going to Indiana for 3 weeks on vacation.

Well.....I am staying in Indiana!!!!! I know what heck. Total shocker to me also I wasn't planning on staying no one was. I went by my old job on Thursday the 22 to see my friend we talked and thought we would play a joke on my old boss. The job I had when I was here opened up bout a month ago I knew it was open Fuzzy had already tried to get me to take it. So Connie and i thought it would be funny to fill out the bid form for the job and put it on his desk so we did. I wasn't expecting him to really do anything about it. Connie text me and said he was looking into bringing me back then the HR lady calls me says they want me to go to Kelly and fill out the app. Because they aren't hiring right now they have to go through Kelly. I tell her I need to think about it and talk it over with some people and I would get back to her(my parents and Melissa). So I talk to Melissa she is cool with it then I make the phone call to dad DOOM DOOM DOOM. He was more worried about the plane ticket then anything I couldn't believe it. He isn't excited because it is so far away from them but, he knows that there aren't jobs there for me.

So I called my old boss back told him i could start on Nov 2 (I am on vacation remember) because I am going to Indy the last week on October. I go down to Kelly Friday morning fill everything out the lady says they want you to start on the 26. I said no I told them I can't I am going to Indy for the week. Then I said ok I will start on the 26th IF I can have Friday off that is the only way they said ok. So I started back at my old job yesterday. Can you believe that WOW I am still in shock.

Last night went really well there are things that will come back over time I know mostly it is learning the numbers of things again. Otherwise all is well I am happy Melissa is happy we got my room all set up well cleaned up more she already had it set up. I will be so happy after this weekend I wont have to live out of a suitcase anymore. After I get a couple pay checks going to send dad money to send me more clothes and shoes. It really sucks when you know you have something some where and you can't get it so annoying I hate that.

So that is what is new and exciting in my life i tell you, you never know what will happen or where I might be.


On a totally different matter I just want to say when you were a kid and your parents made you clean the house and you said they only had you to clean their house ( that is what I said). We used to tease my dad and say your dirty is everyone else's clean. Then you grow up and have a place of your own and you keep it clean you fell proud of that and don't realize that is what they were going for teaching you to do those things. I am very thankful for all the things my parents taught me as a child I didn't know it then but I do now that they were all very important things for me to learn.

Thanks Mom and Dad for being great christian role modles, taking us to church every week, and teaching us things about life that we didn't understand at the time. I know I have made my own mistakes but, you have always been right there praying for me and the Lord's will in my life. Thank you for being the best parents I love you guys.

So here is what is up...

So I back here in Souix Falls, SD been here since July. Things are going ok I started back at School Bus filling in as a aid. It is going ok hey it is a paycheck if nothing else. I am really excitied that I get to take a 3 week vaction in 16 days. Two of my girls are getting married yeah for them. So Fuzzy and John are getting married on Oct. 12 and Jada and Brian are on Oct. 31. I am so happy for my girls. Really excited that I get to see some people like my other girl Melissa, Stephanie, Kevin and so many others.

Melissa is really excited also she can't wait for me to get there. I miss you girl

This is my Jada she is getting married on Oct 31. I can't believe my Jada is getting married. We have know and been friends since we were 8 years old that is way to long. I can't even believe that it has been that long.

This is Melissa and John they are getting married on October 12. I am so happy for them I have watched this relationship blossom since day one. I saw it before they did I love doing that. I thought John was never going to ask her (neither did Melissa). I am so happy for you guys Love you lots.