OK so I bet you are wondering what the heck I mean. Lately I have been feeling my clock ticking the thought of having a baby is something I have been thinking about more and more. Which really sucks when you have no one to share that with(I mean a man). Part of me loves being single the freedom that comes with it. The other part longs for that companionship and having my OWN family. The stuff I've dreamed of since I was a little kid you the husband, kids, a dog or cat. It hurts and sucks to know that I am almost 28 and have none of this that I always thought I would have. It is amazing when you are a kid you dream of so many things you think that is what your life will be like. That isn't how it happens at all I look back and think what did I do wrong did I take the wrong path to get HERE. Is this punishment for something I did wrong? Or am I NEVER going to have those things I dreamed of for so long. Maybe this is just gonna be my life forever single and no kids. I could lie and say that I would be ok with that but, I wouldn't I want to know what it feels like to have that baby move inside you the first time the morning sickness. I know I am crazy but, when you have been around so many people that have had kids and you listen to them talk about these things all that comes to my mind is 'I can't wait to experience that'. I can't even imagine what it feels like to have all those hormones and feelings going on with your body but, I sure hope I get to someday. When I try to explain this to others they don't and can't understand cause they either had kids young or never had this alone time that I have had. If you haven't experienced this you can't understand it I know that doesn't make sense to some but, if you haven't been down that road you can't give someone else directions. If that makes sense at all it does to me cause I haven't ever been down that family road so I can't give directions for that road. I keep feeling like I am having a bad dream and I will wake up and things will be the way I want them to be. You know husband, 2.5 kids, house, and pets but, it isn't a dream this is my life. Weather I like it or not I need to just face that this is what God has given me and move forward and if he says that I'm not to have any of those things then I will have to deal with it like it or not.
3 Coral Gables Guns For Sale
2 years ago
1 comments:
Toni, you must remember that we are riding on God's timetable, not our own. God knows what you want in your heart. He will give it to you in the way He sees fit - when He is ready. That's a heck of a hard lesson, I know, because I'm struggling with that right now myself.
You are so blessed, Honey. You are beautiful, fun and funny, have a great job and a wonderful home. You are warm and inviting and a blast to be around. A man will see that soon. We might not know when, but just stay confident. Stay close to the Lord and He will guide your husband in when He is ready.
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