Today

So maybe it is because I don't have a tv in front of my bed now that I am in the basement but, been listening to the music on my itunes on the computer.

I have decided NeedToBreathe is now my new favorite band need to download more of their music. Anyway it has gotten me thinking also with what I have been going through the last couple of months. On January 15 I put my last cigarette out for good I haven't picked one up since and don't plan on it either. I am very proud of myself this is something I struggled with for many years.

In the months since quiting I have drawn closer to the Lord and my family. I don't feel like this strange,stinky, black sheep any more. It amazing what can happen with PRAYER, will power, and mints.

There have been many changes in me the last few months it is not something I can put fully into words but, I am really happy where I am spiritually, mentally, and physically. That is the best way I can describe it to you.

Like I love this song 'What This World Needs' there is a part where they talk about we really just need to get out of God's way.

'People aren't confused by the Gospel they are confused by us, Jesus is the only way to God but, we are not the only way to Jesus. This world doesn't need my tie, My hoodie, my denomination, or my translation on the Bible. they just need Jesus we can be passionate about what we believe but, we can't strap ourselves to the gospel cause we're slowing it down. Jesus is going to save the world but, maybe the best thing we can do is JUST GET OUT OF THE WAY.

There are soooo many songs that I am loving right now here are a few.....
Something Beautiful - NeedToBreathe
More Time - NeedToBreathe
Love is here- tenth Avenue North
All Along - Remedy Drive
Washed By the Water - NeedtoBreathe
Until the whole world hears - Casting Crowns
Forgiven and Loved - Jimmy Needham
Forgiven- Sanctus Real
On and On - Chasen
What This World Needs - Casting Crowns

If you haven't heard even one of these google it and listen to the words you will like it also trust me they are all good songs.

I love listening to these songs they lift me and Christ up I am praising him and I feel better through out the day by listening to them....

Revival

Ok so this is late but, I just was sitting here playing games on Facebook and thought I need to update and I made notes one day on my phone I need to post that. So here it is first I will tell you we had revival in March the 21-24 with Sam Davidson. The lord really blessed my heart and I will share the notes i put in my phone one day when I was riding on the bus.

So we had revival this week at church great services loved the preaching that Bro Sam brought to us. I was blessed by so much of what he said during the last three days. I will share with you what god blessed and revealed to me. There are many things that happen in our lives and we ask 'God why did you let this happen to me?' I know he allows us to go through things because we can handle it and we learn. There are many things that have happened in my life that I could have went without having to learn from. I don't think I would be who I am today if I hadn't went through those things.

Some times we want to put a limit on God like ok God it is in your hands till____then when we get to that point we say ok I guess I will have to help you Lord. God doesn't need my help I have to stop limiting him on what he can do. He has a plan for me I just need to get out of his way and let him do his work. I know his plan is way better then whatever I have.

So I am stepping out of the way and letting God have his way in my life everyday. It is amazing to me how you change a few things in your life and you really feel the difference in your life.

Things I am learning now.....

I find it so funny now how things come around.... ok everyone else probably already had this figured out about me but I didn't.

So I have the bad habit of finding the wrong guys I end up dating these guys that are wrong for me. So recently I started talking to this guy and I wasn't really into do to some things but, I always try to give people a chance. After a few days of thinking and talking to the person I decided that I couldn't date him but we could be friends.

Any way that isn't the point the point is I need to stop seeing people just because they are into me that is not a reason to date someone. I need to be into them also which starts that way then i look more at the person and realize there is no way this could ever work.

How is it that I never understood this before??? I knew I had a act for finding losers but, now I know why I let them hang around.

On another note check out these pics I found thanks to thepioneerwoman.com.

How cool are these this guy draws different things one of them is Phat Chicks. I loved these 3 pics thought it was really cool that he draws phat chicks he does others also. That is all have a great day later yo.....

Lots to say......

I have lots of thoughts going through my little brain tonight it happens all the time tho. I wander things like where is my prince that I was promised in the fairy tales???

Why do I obsess about said prince knowing that they only exist in fairy tales??? Yeah I know there are a few princes out there but, they belong to someone else. Seriously how can one person obsess over something so much it is always in my mind. No one understands the way it is people say 'oh you are still young you have time' yeah yeah. That is not the point why can't I have the fairy tale I always wanted????

When I was a kid the only thing I ever wanted when I grew up was to get married and have kids. Sounds so easy yet not at all. Even harder when everyone you know has kids and a man I am surrounded by them.

I know having a man and kids doesn't bring happiness I am not saying that at all I am very happy with my life I just want my fairy tale also is that so much to ask???

Then are always the wonderful people who ask you are you married? Do you have any kids??? Or this is the other one that I get are you the one that is married??? Seriously so that is how I am known as the non married daughter nice thanks!!! Like I'm not depressed enough I need to be asked all these lovely questions.

Ok I think I am done complaining that is my rant for the week..

You never know where I will be.....

So I am back in the Arctic South Dakota things did not work out in Indiana. Even tho lots of people wanted them too. Country man and I did not work out big surprise there right impossible to find a good guy.

So back living with the folks which I forgot how funny they are oh my goosh they crack me up. Working at School Bus which pays saving money to buy a car with my tax check. Working out trying to lose some weight and changing my life in different ways. I had a bad habit which some of you know about and I tried quiting back in March. Well Monday it will be a month that I have quit. I am so proud of myself and plan to keep it this way. I feel great even better after i workout it is amazing how great you feel after.

The other day the folks and i were talking and I told them I am so over finding a man I am not even going there any more. If they want me out of the house they have to find me a husband they laughed at me. I don't think they will really do it tho cause they think everyone is 'weird'. Which in it self is really funny cause they are weird they just don't know they are.

So I guess we will wait and see what happens you never know. So I think that is about all for this post may add something later.

Love ya

I Should have called and told you.....

I am swooning.... Awwww... ok but, seriously. I have meet me a man and things are going well. I have been afraid to say anything for the many questions there will be. But I really like Country man and things are very different with him then with any other guy. I think that is why I decided to write this out I need to work things out in my head.

So I guess the starter is where did I meet him? Well I went to meet Country Man's friend. I didn't know he was bringing Country Man I am so glad he did tho. Me and the friend did not hit it off but, I did with Country Man. Needless to say said friend was not happy and didn't want us talking and I said if CM agrees then fine. CM did not agree and called me the next day there have been MANY long nights on the phone for the last 2 weeks. We finally got to see each other again on Friday night and went out Saturday for my birthday.

We went to dinner at LOGAN'S of course then went bowing with Steph,Kenny, Kevin, Melissa, and Scott. We all had so much fun one of my best birthday's I had my girls with me and Country Man. It was wonderful!!! SWOON

So now to the part that I need to work out in my head. I think I have it figured out but, still thinking on it. So Country Man and I are taking things so not RUSHING. I know what a switch for me but, really I'm not I am going one day at a time with this. Things are going great Country Man has spoke of things like what do you want for Christmas and we have talked of doing a few things in the next couple of months.

So why does this feel so different then with any guy I have ever been with? That is the part I can't get. He's not like other guys I have dated before either he is sweet and tender and says the nicest things. To which I joke and say ' keep earning those brownie points' which he is. I have never had some one call me Miss America, perfect, gorgeous, and just beautiful. This is not normal for me I love it but, so not used to it. He cares about how I feel about different things he is so gentle, respectful, honest, gentleman, and Country. I shocked him one day he asked me if I knew who Bill Dance was? I said yeah I know who he is My dad watches his fishing show. Not even kidding this is what he says "Me and your dad will get along great we can watch hunting and fishing all day." Great me and mom will shop!!! I know I not looking for a man for my dad but, I enjoy those things I loved it when dad came home with whatever he went hunting for. Those are great memories I have with my dad.

Fuzzy says that I think it feels different because I'm not rushing things that I am going one day at a time and seeing what happens. I am excited and can't wait to see where things go but, I'm not pushing things to get there. So I guess what I am saying is I am happy so happy I can't even explain fully what I am feeling cause I don't know. What I do know is I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.

I LOVE Songs

You ever have a song that just I don't know how to say it sticks with you and it won't go away? Sure you have everyone has.

After reading someone else's blog I now have a song stuck in my head. Like said person I love this song it says so much about having the Faith that we some times forget we have. The things God has done in our lives or people that we know.

I love music and think that songs speak a message to us in their own way. There is another song that we sang at Falls Church Called Second Chance by Hillsong I love this song.

You called my name Reached out Your hand

Restored my life And I was redeemed

The moment You entered my life

Amazing grace Christ gave that day My life was changed

When from my shoulders Fell the weight of my sin

So it’s with everything I am I reach out for Your hand

The hope for change The second chance I’ve gained

On You I throw my life Casting all my fears aside How could greater love than this

Ever possibly exist

Consume my thoughts As I rest in You

I’m now in love With a Saviour Bearing the marks of His love

So I’ll wait upon You now With my hands released to You

Where a little faith’s enough To see mountains lift and move

And I’ll wait upon You now Dedicated to Your will

To this love that will remain A love that never fails


It is such a true song His love never fails, No one loves us like God loves us and he can move mountains. When everything feels like you are in the pit and never going to get out he is there with his hand stretched out to us. To pull us out of the pit believe me cause I have been in that pit several times.

No mater what we do he still loves us and is there for us. I know I can always turn to God for help whenever I need it and he will be there I take comfort in that.

I want to share a few songs that I have been listening to I will give you titles you can look them up I have several. Go check them out you might like them.

What Faith Can Do by Kutless
All Along By Remedy Drive
Lord move, or move me By FFH
Every move I make by Hillsong kids
The words i would say by Sidewalk prophets
More Beautiful You by Jonny Diaz
Love is here By Tenth Avenue North
By Your side By Tenth Avenue North
Can't get away by Rush Of Fools
There's only Grace Matthew West

So go check them out they might speak to you also.

Have a great day love Toni :)